Chemical Analysis of a MBA Student

Tired of the ubiquitous SWOT analysis, PEST analysis, WACC method and Cash Flow calculation, which still makes me scratch my head thinking how does it help one in taking strategic decisions with 6 minds taking 7 decisions based on the analysis, I come back to something which is more substance-ful and something which any Chemical Engineer is good at.. Chemical Analysis.. This article is meant to dissect a MBAs Chemical Analysis..

Symbol: St

Atomic Weight: Incomprehensible, uncertain

Occurrence:

• In canteen with Laptops open (and Packman being played)
• In cinema theatres (Matinee shows, resultant after a process called bunking)
• In coffee houses discussing the plummeting stock market
• And rarely in classes.

Allotropic Forms:

Found in two allotropic forms males & females. A few rare species with a good overlap between the two are also sometimes encountered.

Free State:

Seen in the library, the Chai stall outside college and occasionally in class room.

Combined State:

Found in couples who are oppositely charged and very temporary. Some in transition are found wagging their tongues at the view opposite to the college.

Physical Properties:

• A MBA student is a smart mix, carries Dell Laptop and blesses the library with a prolonged presence till late nights (only in the case of endangered species called bookworms)
• Good conductor of latest fashion
• A bad conductor of studies or advice
• Boils at insult point, melts at flattery especially from oppositely charged species (temperature vary from individual to individual)
• Good conductor of gossip, gyaan and criticizing the IT industry
• Occasionally found well dressed with blazers on

Chemical Properties:

• Great affinity for case studies, Sutta song and presenting PPTs
• Reaction to water: Insoluble, usually bathes once a week.
• Repulsed by textbooks, especially reference materials.
• Neutral to advice
• Reacts with studies under high pressure and temperature
• Found with a high usage density of words like leverage, brand equity, hedging and product mix.

Purification Techniques:

Can be purified by complex process called exams (Surprise tests in particular) after vigorous shaking to awaken from constant hibernation.

Super Prime Crisis

Second chance lending and Sub Prime Crisis has become the flavor of every unending discussion in any B School today. For the non B School Junta "Sub prime crisis is the result of the practice of giving loans to borrowers who do not qualify for the best market interest rates because of their deficient credit history. " (Hence the term "Sub-Prime")

My repealing attitude over financial subjects needs no mention and the fact was elucidated when I scored a paltry 4 off 20 in a recent class test we had. This was inspite of me being confident that I understood every term and word the teacher taught. My stint with such Sub Prime scores is not a recent phenomenon as numerous other single digit scores have graced my result card in school, college and my corporate life. This brings me into a strategic crisis which I call it a Super Prime Crisis i.e. inability to score even double digit marks which i rate as my Prime level.

This reminds me of my Project Manager, who once barged into my cubicle complaing that the latest issue that I had resolved had ended up making the system 10 folds slower. (the issue was to make the system slightly faster.. ;)) and thereby justifying my appraisal rating of 2/5. The ten minutes he spent in my cubicle seemed ages and when he asked a justification from me, all i could do was "Yawn...". Irritated, he left muttering a few graceful words in his mother tongue. I felt an eternal bliss. You see, everyone has the ability of making someone happy, some by entering the room, others by leaving it.

Both in my professional life and redeemed student life now, I have seen dozens of hardworkers (GMs as i call them - Gadha Mazdoors) around. Hardwork seems to be the essence of so many people around me. Some work hard on certifications, some on corporate project while some slog for the numerous committees and some get engrossed in case studies. Hardwork seems to spotlight the character of everyone here - Some turn up their sleeves while others turn up their noses.... And amidst the population are also "Sub Primers" who just don’t turn up at all..

With the results of our 2nd trimester round the corner, the fear of "Super Prime Crisis" still haunts me and each passing day makes me feel that the bond between me and the crisis is as strong as a covalent bond.. Sometimes it just seems that such "Super Prime Crisis" is like a lollipop in anyone’s life... It sucks until it is gone!!!