Mumbai Central carries a totally different look at 4 AM. With a few minutes in hand for my train to depart, the thought of buying a couple of Business magazines passed through my mind. The trailer stall had just opened and the shopkeeper asked me to wait for 5 minutes before which he would finish his morning prayers. Suffering from "Not minding my business syndrome" ever since my birth, I searched through the racks of the trailer as if i was to find my misplaced brains there. My sleepy eyes fell on a Tinkle issue - a magazine of which I was a voracious reader as a kid..
A virtual war between Uncle Pai and Jehangir Pocha started at Mumbai Central with just few minutes left for my train to depart. The engines hoot brought me back to reality and having regained my senses, I bought an issue each of Business world and a Tinkle. Blame it on the B School work culture, with the two issues in my hand, strange thought passed through my head which is otherwise an epitome of sluggish tendencies. I thought what would each characters of Tinkle major in had they been MBAs. What would happen if Tinkle goes for an hostile take over of Business World.. What would happen if Pocha would replace Uncle Pai as chief editor of Tinkle??? Some answers to these set of questions is what kept me busy for the next few hours.. The following are my nominations for various posts in the merged entity.
Suppandi - the CIO : The adorable goof who keeps trying new things to please his employer but ends up making a complete mockery of himself and his master. Changes masters in every issue just as IT employees change companies regularly..
Shikari Shambhu - the COO : The stout and obese jungle explorer cum hunter who is afraid of every specie under the sun. Tries his best to avoid problems but ends up solving the most complex problems by hook, which is considered as an OUT OF BOX thinking . Silly and inane concepts are given huge and complex names like TQM, JIT and SCM.
Doob doob and Chamataka - the Joint HR Managers: The crocodile and fox duo always make the best of the plans only to get themselves trapped at the end. Never known in history of 'animal-kind' for giving feasible solutions and kill all the time and resources on the least value added job.
Tantri the Mantri - CMO - The CMO is normally the CEO in waiting and so is Tantri. And quite predictably, his wait never ends. His networking and consultants under him devise the best strategies but ultimately ends up making a mockery of himself. His wait for the peak is like an envelope without an address on it - going no where..
Anu Club - Head R&D team : The most neglected portion of tinkle as a reader. Anu comes with the most unpractical (yet theorotically correct) findings to be incorporated and can be the undisputed contender for this post.
Raaja Hooja - the CEO : The character who has been irreplaceble for nearly 2 decades. The only change is him is he is becoming plumpier as days go by and his successors just dream of replacing him one day. Uses no rocket science or rationality and heavily relies on his ministers' suggestions for prosperity of kingdom.. Obviously takes all credit at the end..
The wierd and inane thoughts would have continued for a longer time had it not been disrupted by the TTE who woke me up 2 hours later by a vigorous shake of my shoulder.. "Tickets Please.." !!
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