"Manipulation is a skill" said Ms Sally Mathai, My chemistry teacher when I was asked to test an inorganic sample by analysing the positive and the negative radicals and I went on pestering her by asking every 5 mins if it was one salt or the other. For non Chemical Engineers, please consider this gyaan the most difficult positive radical to analyse is H+ and the same for a negative radicle is OH-. The compound containing these two is H2O,, yes you got it,, potable water in simple english.I was given water to analyse and 3 hours of fruitless analysis as usual yielded nothing. Guess it was a cost cutting measure (an idea adopted by many software giants offlate) followed in the lab owing to my wasting of precious chemicals and giving fruitless manipulations.
The IMD (Indian Manipulative Department.. oops Indian Meteorological Department) seems to have been effected by this contagious disease of mine. I ve spent the last 3 odd weeks in Mumbai where its the time for the torrential rains to start pouring and wretch a havoc causing a deluge. I made it a point to read the weather forecast before i ventured my way out to explore the city's vibrant culture. "Cloudless Sky, Bright Sunshine" was the forecast. Thinking that I cant find a better climate to move out, I started on my expedition wearing the thinnest possible attire (a kurta). One peculiar observation was that all people on the road were carrying an umbrella. I smirked thinking how fools they were to carry an extra luggage while all they needed to do was to check the weather forecasts. huh people really lack basic intelligence. I looked at the heavens thinking that I was surrounded by fools and to my horror saw a huge black cloud covering the "BRIGHT SUNSHINE" and a thick drop of water fell on my eyes. Before I could look for a shelter the rain gods came smiling down and drenching me completely. All the FOOLS around me moved smoothly with their umbrellas wide open. Well the hapless fate had more in store, my friend who normally comes taking his bike on this auspicious day came in his Scorpio with the AC on full throttle. I was shivering all through as if i had seen a ghost.
A few days passed by but my habbit of looking at the forecasts still dint fade. "Heavy to Very Heavy showers predicted for the next 48 hours" read the seciton this time. All my friends wanted to go to juhu beach and I prevented myself taking a huge risk. I stayed @ home and glanced through the windows as all my friends embarked without taking an umbrella. I laughed my heart out thinking that the rains are going to pour and they ll be drenched and soaked out and that my decision of staying at home would be considered an act of geniusness. The entire day went by and sun was beating down its gentle heat. Not a drop of water fell. In other words it was a perfect Cloudless Day with bright sunshine, a perfect evening that could be spent at any beach. huh,,
I have personally kept a note of the forecasts everytime after that and have found that they are the frauds of highest order. It "forecasts" precisely what happened yesterday or a the day before, and precisely the opposite of what is going to happen to-day.Probably they are doing what I used to do in my high school days - Manipulation. But remeber as Ms. Sally Mathai says "Manipulation is a skill".. and IMD lacks it...
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